Monthly Archives: July 2022

Sherry’s Shelves 7.24 – 7.30.22

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Hi All.

I missed the post last week. I did have some news to share, the 50th anniversary concert for the Doobie Brothers at The Wharf in Orange Beach, Alabama, was a hoot. Definitely traveled back in time….except we were at the very top, the very end of the row so we could be alone. Seeing it is outside, it was good and we enjoyed ourselves. Other than that, it’s business as usual, reading, blogging, and piddling outside.

Stay safe and wear a mask..

LAST WEEK ON fundinmental

COMING UP ON fundinmental

  • Sherry’s Shelves
  • Giveaway – Potion by Dorlana Vann
  • Giveaway – Rebel One by J S Christine
  • Giveaway – Love Is For The Dogs by Annee Jones
  • Giveaway – Storm And Flame by Mallory Wanless
  • Reviews – Malicious by James Raven & Mindbenders by Ted Krever
  • Giveaway – The Fragrance Of Death by Leslie Karst
  • Giveaway – Peaches And Cream by S London
  • Giveaway – Corpse And Robbers by Stephen Kaminski
  • Giveaway – The Light After The Orange by Beverly J Hall
  • Tackling The TBR
  • You can see my Giveaways HERE.
  • You can see my Reviews HERE.
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  • Leave your link in the comments and I will drop by to see what’s shakin’.
  • I am an Amazon affiliate/product images are linked.
  • Thanks for visiting fundinmental!



Tackling The TBR – 7.23 – 7.29.22 #tacklingthetbr

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I got the idea and the motivation to start doing Tackling The TBR from All The Book Blog Names Are Taken. It has helped me to keep track of my reading shelf as far as current events and to tidy up my shelves. I feel better about my out of control TBR and have even knocked off a couple of those old ones that had been hanging around for years.

COME ON….JOIN IN.

Previous Total: 2093

Currently Reading

Books Read

I missed the post last week, so this is two weeks worth of reading.

Books Added

Books DNF-ed: 0

Books Deleted: 7

Duplicates Removed: 1

New TBR Total: 2083

  • You can see my Giveaways HERE.
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Giveaway – Awaken by Vanessa MacLellan @XpressoTours @McCVan

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Awaken
Vanessa MacLellan
Publication date: July 30th 2022
Genres: Adult, Dark Fantasy, Fantasy, Horror

Balin stands between two great Powers. One will shatter his mind; the other will destroy his soul. Only one of them can save his people.

Fort Resonbirg, a Norse stronghold in the New World, is besieged by the evil sorcerer Ursulard the Dreamspinner. Though their fields are scorched and homes destroyed, the residents and refugees do not worry, because Fort Resonbirg is Awakened with the power to provide, protect, and grow. But not all is as it seems when a wall of impenetrable mist surrounds the fort, and within the mist hunts the dragon, Nidhogg. Nidhogg hungers for more than flesh and bone. It instills nightmares on its prey, feeding on fear and pain, inevitably taking lives.

Balin Tremore, a commoner bound for the militia but hoping to stay by his noble love’s side, never expected to amount to grand things. When the great power of Cradleweaving is awakened within him, Balin unknowingly becomes the one person with the power to pierce the wall of mist and banish the deadly beast within before it destroys them all—if he can master the new power in time. But to master the power, he must sacrifice much. The question is, will it be his position, his Lady, or his very soul?

The Mist meets Nightmare on Elm Street in this classic tale of personal sacrifice.

Goodreads / Amazon

—

EXCERPT:

He rapped his knuckles against the wooden door, leaning against the frame to take the strain from his leg.

“Who is there?”

“It is I, Balin Tremore.” He glanced up and down the hallway. Vacant. “I request an audience.”

The door swung open. “Please enter with an open heart, Balin.” Elaine beamed at him, her joy evident in the musical laughter in her words.

Balin stepped inside, and Elaine slammed the door closed.

“Is Kirsten here?” he asked, scanning the suite for Elaine’s handmaiden.

Elaine shook her head. “She’s getting fabric.” With no warning, she threw her arms around Balin’s shoulders and hugged him close. “I’m so, so, so glad you are well,” she said, her words held stiffly, as if voicing a vow. “Don’t ever do that again. Don’t ever.” She squeezed him. His body took a moment to react, and then he melted into her hold.

He embraced her, brushing his cheek against her plum silk shirt, holding her close, praying to Baldr that she’d never be taken from his arms. He inhaled her lilac scent and closed his eyes.

She pulled back, and the intensity in her gaze captured his breath. They were of a same height, except for when she wore ball shoes and could stare down at him with haughty superiority. She’d tease him then, drape her arm over his shoulders when nobody was looking their way. He didn’t mind, he just enjoyed being close to her. Now, however, no tease twinkled in her stormy eyes. Only worry and determination resided there, and he hated to see all those emotions in turmoil over her sweet features.

“Balin, would you just give in? You don’t have to return to the field.”

Balin took in a breath and let his gaze slip from hers to stare at the side of her nose. “I can’t do that.”

“Yes. You can.” She pulled away sharply, turning her back on him as she charged into her sitting room, her strong trouser-clad legs cutting the distance to a few strides. She gleaned pieces of paper from her writing desk and tromped back towards him, shaking the papers in his face. “I’ve completed the requisition. All I need is the Hauld’s approval, and after you and William—” she waved her hands through the air in a grand gesture, the papers crackling under the abuse, “—there’s no way he wouldn’t agree to you being my steward.”

They’d had this argument before, and Balin found it harder and harder to refuse her.

But he wanted to be so much more to her than just her steward.

“I don’t even need your approval, you know.” Her eyes narrowed, and her mouth turned into a frown.

He dropped his shoulders back, attention wandering over the copper molding encircling her ceiling. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“Don’t you tempt me, Balin Tremore. If it means keeping you out of the war, I will do what I have to do.”

The command in her voice drew his attention back to her face. He scooped up her hands, papers and all, and pressed his forehead to hers. They stood that way for a moment, Elaine’s breathing fast, Balin’s heart thumping in his ears. Those weeks in the cage, cold, starving, he’d wanted her. Wanted her soft touch. Her amused smile. He’d kept her stored in his mind in the hidden places Zebbens couldn’t beat out of him.

“We have to fight him, Elaine. Every one of us, we all have to do what we can.”

“Then, Balin,” she argued, her voice a terse whisper, “that means I need to be out there, too.”

Through his bangs, he saw her looking at him. He rolled his forehead against hers until their noses touched. “You can’t go out there, Elaine,” he whispered, the words hovering between their nearly touching lips.

“I’m a better fencer than you.”

“Fencer, not swordsman, they aren’t the same.”

Behind him, the door opened.

“Oh, Miss, I’m so sorry to intrude,” Kirsten said.

The air crackled with anticipation, but Kirsten, so-sorry-to-intrude, didn’t leave.

Balin bowed his head and slowly pulled away. Then he turned to the handmaiden. “Hello, Kirsten.”


Author Bio:

Vanessa MacLellan was born and raised in the farmlands of eastern Washington, works as an environmental engineer, and is an avid birder, naturalist and hiker living in Portland, Oregon.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter


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Giveaway – Semper Fi Brothers by R C Turner @iReadBookTours

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Join us for this tour from July 18 to August 5, 2022!

Book Details:

Book Title:  Semper Fi Brothers: A Hero’s Dangerous Journey for Redemption by A.C. Turner
Category:  Adult Fiction (18+),  150 pages
Genre: Literary Fiction / Military Action Fiction
Publisher:  Write My Wrongs LLC
Release date:  March 16, 2022
Content Rating:  PG-13 (some f-words, violence, non-explicit sex scenes)  
 
Book Description:

Yarmuck, Syria is under attack. ISIS goons under the command of ruthless Commander Abu, have infiltrated the village and are determined to purge it of its Yazidi heritage… by any means necessary.

Meanwhile, half a world away in California, tormented Shamus “Gunny” O’Malley-retired Marine and Vietnam Vet who’s done nothing but drink his way through civilian life as a TV personality and bar owner-learns his young Yazidi bartender, Quassam, fears for the lives of the family left behind in Yarmuck.

When Quassam, “Q” to his friends, announces his plan to save his mother and sister from the ISIS goons, Gunny’s hapless best friend (and best customer), Buzz, decides he’s going to aid young Q on his journey, and does everything he can to convince Gunny to come along for the ride.

With time running out and ISIS tightening its grip, Gunny has a decision to make. As the son of a white father and black mother, O’Malley knows from his time in the Marines that race can never break the bonds between semper fi brothers. Will he stay brash and boozy in sunny California, or will he take a leap of faith and journey to hellish, war-torn Syria to help his brothers and slay his-and Yarmuck’s-demons?

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Giveaway – Deceived by Mary Keliikoa @mary_keliikoa @dollycas

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Deceived (A Kelly Pruett Mystery) by Mary Keliikoa

About Deceived

Deceived (A Kelly Pruett Mystery)
Cozy Mystery – Woman Sleuths
3rd in Series
Setting – Oregon
Camel Press (May 10, 2022)
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 218 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1603818650
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1603818650
Digital ASIN ‏ : ‎ B09Q7SG18K

In the third thrilling book in the Kelly Pruett mystery series–Her world was falling into place. Then women started dropping off the map.

PI Kelly Pruett finally feels like she’s coming into her own. With her personal life well on track, a gig uncovering what drove a client’s granddaughter underground could be good for business. But after her undercover operation at the homeless shelter reveals rampant drug dealing, she’s suddenly kicked off the case… just as another girl goes missing.

Vowing to expose the truth even if it means pro-bono work, Kelly is taken aback when her half-sister helps her hunt down answers in a tent city brimming with distrust. When her investigation doesn’t move quickly enough to save a second woman from a vicious murder, Kelly doubles her efforts unwilling to accept defeat.

About Mary Keliikoa 

Mary Keliikoa is the Shamus finalist and Lefty, Agatha and Anthony nominated author of the PI Kelly Pruett mystery series, and the Misty Pines mystery series featuring former Portland homicide detective turned small-town sheriff. Her short stories have appeared in Woman’s World and in the anthology Peace, Love and Crime.

A Pacific NW native, she spent years working around lawyers and admits to being that person who gets excited when called for jury duty. When not in Washington, you can find Mary on the beach in Hawaii. But even under the palm trees and blazing sun, she’s plotting her next murder—novel that is.

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Amazeballs – Asylum by Susy Smith @susy8469

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I won a Gift Card through a giveaway for Susy Smith, so I bought a copy of Asylum.

Asylum

Amazon / Goodreads

MY REVIEW

WOW! For a debut novel, Asylum by Susy Smith has knocked it out of the ball park. I am impressed and will be marking her as a must read author. I rarely buy books any more, but I had to have Asylum. The cover, title and synopsis has everything I need to lure me in. I am eager to see what she comes up with next.

Asylum immediately brought to mind The Walking Dead, without he zombies. It also reeks of real life possibilities. With an economic collapse, marshal law is declared. Think about it. I sure have.

A farm. A 19 year old girl. A sanctuary. Secession. Labor camps. Brother against brother. Jace and Zach are brothers of murdered parents. Complete opposites.

How do you help someone, when you can’t help yourself? You JUST DO IT. Even in doubt, Lacy moves forward.

Jace had always had a thing for Lacy and so does Travis, the first person to join her in the sanctuary. A love triangle. I know some people don’t like them, but in this world, it fits perfectly.

I was immersed in Asylum by Susy Smith from the opening pages and it never let me go. Through the entire book, shades of real world history came to life. I kept thinking…could this happen in our current world?

I smiled. I cried. I loved. I hated.

Susy Smith did an amazing job on her debut novel and I will be keeping my eye on her.

Animated Animals. Pictures, Images and Photos
5 Stars

AMAZON SYNOPSIS

In the aftermath of the Big Crash, the President of the United States declares martial law. The National Guard rounds up citizens who are never heard from again. While fear and chaos reign, a small band of revolutionaries rise up to resist.

Lacy Monroe, barely out of high school, never saw herself as a leader. All that changed after the Big Crash. When the rest of her family fled, she remained on the farm, the last piece of land in the state holding out against the hostile government. Alone and vulnerable, she endures a horrific attack, yet survives and offers sanctuary to others like herself—until an old friend turns her world upside-down.

Jace Cooper has harbored a secret for years—he is completely in love with his best friend’s sister. The world is crumbling around them, no one knows how long they will survive, and all he wants is to protect Lacy and stay with her.

With the National Guard circling ever closer, hunger and sickness taking a toll, and betrayal and jealousy threatening to destroy the group from the inside, the struggle to hold onto the farm pushes them to the brink. And Lacy is keeping a secret so devastating it could drive Jace to unthinkable actions. Is the farm a safe asylum—or will the fight for freedom destroy them?

ABOUT SUSY SMITH

Susy Smith

Susy Smith has a bachelor’s degree in English and is a language teacher for the Kanza Tribe. Her debut novel, Asylum, won the 2020 WriterCon contest in the novel category. She loves creating a home on paper for the characters in her head and dabbling in poetry. She lives in a small Oklahoma town with her husband, four grown children nearby, and two spoiled dog-children.

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Giveaway – Loving Dark Men by J A Huss @XpressoTours @JAHuss

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Loving Dark Men
J.A. Huss
Publication date: July 26th 2022
Genres: Adult, Thriller

A man lures a woman into the woods.

Another ruins the life of his best friend.

And yet another strings them along like puppets.

Dark men.

They are intriguing, and charming, and powerful.

They are changing the world.

They are changing themselves.

They are playing with lust, and love, and fear, and loathing.

Addicted to each other, to their secret, to the seduction, to the sex.

It’s a crash in the making.

And yes, it’s on purpose.

These men are dark.

And this is the messy story of how Nova Ryan loves them.

Loving Dark Men is a seductive romantic thriller that will have you turning pages well past your bedtime. A standalone book by New York Times bestselling author, JA Huss.

Goodreads / Amazon

—

EXCERPT:

The guy.

He’s been missing since the first day. Well, maybe I’ve been missing. He’s never in the dining hall, and, of course, he’s not in the lab. And those are the only two places I go, so…

He smiles at me and my whole body goes tingly with the memory of what we did in the woods.

I stop walking and just stare. He’s leaning against a tree and immediately I see him the way he was that first day. He’s wearing something very similar—sweat shorts and a shirt tucked into his waistband.

He must jog a lot.

He signals to me with a single finger. Not a wagging finger, but a point. Almost like he’s beckoning a waitress. I do a half-hearted wave back and turn to the coffee cart.

I don’t know what’s going through his mind right now, but I’m not interested. It was a one-time thing as far as I’m concerned, something I’m not going to dwell on or feel shame over, but there is no burning need inside me to force it to make sense.

It was… a need met. An itch scratched.

Hell, that’s giving it way too much credit.

It was a weird once-in-a-lifetime sexual opportunity that came about due to my new surroundings and—

Once-in-a-lifetime? Really?

Fine. I’m slutty, what can I say?

I still don’t feel any shame.

And I do not look over my shoulder. Not before I order, not while I order, and not while I wait for my coffee.

I give him plenty of time to go somewhere else.

But when I turn, he’s still there. Lifting that one finger at me again.

And this time, he does beckon me. Then he turns and walks into the trees.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I mutter this under my breath, then look around, to see if anyone is paying attention.

No one is, as far as I can tell.

When I look back at him, all I catch is his bare back disappearing into the woods.

Nova, you will not follow that man into the woods.

Nova…

Nova!

But I’m already walking in that direction. Because… that kiss. Holy shit, that kiss. I mean, I don’t think a man has ever kissed me like that. Well, maybe Travis. But that was his one and only chance. I was leaving the next day for college. And, in fact, we never did see each other again.

No. One teenager’s desperate attempt to make himself memorable is not the same as this man’s all-encompassing lust.

Nova. You’re walking.

Yes. I am.

You’re walking towards the woods.

You’re very observant, monologue me. But save your breath. I’m going. At the very least, I need his name. I mean, what kind of man beckons a strange woman into the woods, helps her jerk himself off, comes in her hand, then just… walks away?

Not even a half-hearted ‘see ya later?’

Not even a ‘thank you?’

I need something to add to this story. I can’t leave it like this. It will drive me crazy.


Author Bio:

JA Huss is a New York Times Bestselling author and has been on the USA Today Bestseller’s list 21 times. She writes characters with heart, plots with twists, and perfect endings. Her books have sold millions of copies all over the world. Her book, Eighteen, was nominated for a Voice Arts Award and an Audie Award in 2016 and 2017 respectively. Her audiobook, Mr. Perfect, was nominated for a Voice Arts Award in 2017. Her audiobook, Taking Turns, was nominated for an Audie Award in 2018. Her book, Total Exposure, was nominated for a RITA Award in 2019. She lives on a ranch with her family, dogs, cats, birds, chickens, horse, donkeys, and goats in Colorado.

Website / Facebook Page / Facebook Group / Twitter / Instagram / Bookbub / Amazon / Audible


GIVEAWAY!
(Starts July 26 – Ends August 8, 2022)
PRIZE – $250 Amazon Gift Card, FOUR SIGNED Loving Dark Men dust-jacket hardcovers. (1 Retail edition, 3 Special Editions). Swag bag.
LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS JAHUSS BLOG POST TO ENTER!

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New Release – Mail Order Bride by Britney King @britneyking_

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MY REVIEW

Gina’s dad is concerned about what will happen to her when he is gone, so he places an ad in the Farmer’s Almanac for a Mail Order Bride. I do wonder if there is more behind his desire to have her married. What could be in it for him?

Joel responds and comes to Tennessee. He propose and Gina grasps at her chance to get out, but it’s to Texas. She wants to be an actress and her goal is to get to Hollywood.

In the beginning I was confused. We were jumping from one point of view to another. It took me a while to figure out who was writing in the diary, and that is a good thing, a little mystery to stir my curiosity. I never felt a sense of urgency, though I was curious about how it would end.

I did enjoy my time with the characters and seeing this is an ARC, that may be why I thought Mail Order Bride was not polished, was a bit jumbled, not fleshed out. It did not grab me, making me want to read into the early hours of the morning.

I have enjoyed all the Britney King books that I have read, and some of them have blown me away, so she will always be a must read for me.

I voluntarily reviewed a free copy of Mail Order Bride by Britney King.

Animated Animals. Pictures, Images and Photos
3 Stars

SYNOPSIS

The bestselling author of the “clever spine-tingler” The Secretary returns with a vicious and suspenseful tale of love-gone-wrong. 

When Joel answers an ad in the back of the Farmers’ Almanac that promises to deliver the perfect wife, he isn’t sure what to expect.

For sure, it isn’t Gina.

Gina was aware she possessed secret powers—that’s what her father called them—from a very young age. He always told her she would make a perfect bride. So that’s exactly what she became.

She knows she’s not supposed to use her “powers” for evil and destruction, but Pine Lake is a small place, and Gina has big dreams—plans, in fact. She also has charm, beauty, sex appeal, and intelligence.

Only two things stand in her way: the social norms of 1953, and her new husband, Joel.

The solution may call for desperate measures. But, then, if anyone can get away with murder, it’s Gina.

However, there’s something Gina has yet to realize. That handsome groom of hers? He’s a serial loner for a reason.

Buy Links:

ABOUT BRITNEY KING

Britney King lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, children, a dog named Gatsby, one ridiculous cat, and a partridge in a peach tree.

When she’s not wrangling the things mentioned above, she writes psychological, domestic and romantic thrillers set in suburbia.

Without a doubt, she thinks connecting with readers is the best part of this gig. You can find Britney online here:

MY BRITNEY KING REVIEWS

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Giveaway – The Last One by A S Kelly @XpressoTours

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The Last One
A.S. Kelly
Publication date: July 25th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Anya O’Donnell, and I’d like to declare myself guilty beyond all reasonable doubt.
Guilty of what, you ask?
Well, for starters, I’m guilty of lying to everyone for years; of pretending when I should have been showing them all who I really was, what I really wanted. I’m guilty of pushing away the only person who wanted to stay, convinced that, one day, he’d have left, anyway.
I told him we were a mistake.
I told him I was better off without him.
I told him that I didn’t love him.
And now I miss him. I miss his cups of tea and his stupid cheese crackers. I miss his clothes, strewn about the house. I miss the way he would watch me sleep. I miss his arms, holding me tightly each night, making me feel at home.
But now we’re both alone. And I’m scared.
I’m scared that he believed everything I told him; that he has no intention of coming back.

Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Owen McKenna, and I’m furious.
Why, you ask?
Well, because I decided to follow my heart and not my head. Because I didn’t listen to my friends or to their far-fetched theories. Because I left anyway – even when everyone was telling me to stay.
And now she doesn’t want me back. But I want her, desperately.
She’s the woman I’ve been waiting for. She’s incredibly sexy, and can make you laugh, even when you least want to. She’s never let anyone in, apart from me; and when she crumbles into my arms, it makes me feel like the only guy in the world.
But I ruined everything.
I let the L-word slip, and she panicked.
She told me things she didn’t even think – I know that. I know her.
I know that she’s scared, that she doesn’t want to take this risk. But I do. I’m ready.
I’m her exception.
I just need to make her see that, too.

Goodreads / Amazon

—

EXCERPT:

“Ms. O’Donnell.”
“What?”
“My surname. O’Donnell.”
“Mine is…”
“I didn’t ask. I’m telling you mine. You can call me Ms. O’Donnell.”
“Are you serious?”
“Good morning, Ms. O’Donnell. Or good evening, depending on the circumstance.”
“Can I wish you goodnight, too?”
“You’re not helping yourself.”
I laugh. I like winding her up – mainly because she doesn’t flinch.
“Are you telling me I can’t even say your name?”
“Only friends use my name.”
“And I’m not a friend?”
“No.”
“And I’ll never become a friend?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’ve seen me naked. And usually, friends don’t see each other naked.”
“Is that one of your rules?”
“It’s just become one.”
“A special rule for me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not even my type.”
“What is your type?”
“That’s something I don’t share with strangers or acquaintances. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work waiting for me.”
She slowly walks to the entrance, under my watchful gaze. I can’t help but fixate on the slinky, sensual movement of her hips.
“Ms. O’Donnell?” I call. She stops and looks around at me again.
“I hope you have a great day.”
“I thought it would be. Now I’m not so sure.”

Author Bio:

A. S. Kelly writes Rom-Com, Romantic Fiction and Family Saga.
Avid reader, hopeless romantic, lover of yoga, knitting and home baking.
She was born in Italy but lives in Ireland with her husband, two children and a cat named Oscar.

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Giveaway – Unbreakable by Kristin Smith @XpressoTours @SwordsStilettos

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Unbreakable
Kristin Smith
(The Deception Game, #4)
Publication date: July 26th 2022
Genres: Dystopian, Young Adult

From best-selling and award-winning author Kristin Smith comes the riveting fourth and final book in the Deception Game series.

A terrible discovery that will change everything.

Armed with valuable information, Sienna and her friends find asylum in the east coast province of Pride. While initially grateful for Pride’s open arms, they begin to question exactly what kind of loyalties its president is after. Sienna must grapple with her new condition, Trey has to figure out how to win a war without losing Sienna, and Zane needs to recreate a gene regeneration therapy to cure Sienna without knowing if he’ll ever win her heart. When they learn Trina survived the Zenith Camp bombing, they also discover she’s been living a nightmare.

In the end, Sienna and her friends must somehow come together and fight a war for a government they aren’t sure they can trust.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

—

EXCERPT:

SIENNA:

Ever since we arrived in Old Richmond, President Turner’s team of doctors have done test after test and x-ray after x-ray to determine how severely my spinal cord is damaged. And it’s all led to the same conclusion. It’s damaged beyond repair. Which means I’ll never walk again, at least, not in this life.

Am I angry? Yes. Do I feel sorry for myself? A little. But that’s not what keeps me tethered to this bed. Sadness is a weighted sandbag that drags me down, down, down. All I want to do is sleep.

Day after day, I lie on my back in a bed in a room that’s too posh to be a sick room. I let them check my blood pressure and temperature. I let them empty my catheter. I let them switch out my IV bag. And I don’t complain when they stick me with this needle and that one. For all intents and purposes, I’m alive.

And yet, I’m not.

I lost the two most important people in my life, and I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover. So what that I can’t walk? So what that my life as I knew it is over? So what. So what. So what. My mom and sister are dead. Burned alive.

Death is a plague that has visited my doorstep over and over. No matter where I go, it finds me and the ones I love.

And I’m tired. So very tired. Tired of living. Tired of loving. Tired of caring.

There’s a soft knock on the door, and then Zane sticks his head in. His face lights up when he sees me. “Hey,” he says. “Can I come in?” His gaze travels to Chaz, who is asleep in a chair near the corner of the room. His head sags against his propped-up arm, his chubby cheek squished against his fist. Chaz hasn’t left my side since we got to Old Richmond. My eternal watchdog.

“Trust me,” I say, “nothing short of an explosion can wake him when he’s asleep.”

Zane chuckles at this as he crosses the room and sinks into the chair beside my bed. “How are you holding up?”

“I’ve been better.”

His face is awash in pain. “I’m really sorry, Sienna—”

“It wasn’t your fault, Zane,” I remind him. We’ve been over this again and again, but he still carries the blame. Like he could somehow have avoided the hidden explosive. The thought is absurd.

“It was,” he says, his voice firm. “But I’m going to fix it. I promise.”

“I know you will,” I say. “You can do anything you put your mind to.”

He smiles. “Your confidence in me means everything.”

A loud snore comes from the corner of the room. Zane and I exchange looks. “See?” I say. “Told you.”

When Zane laughs, it feels like a little bit of goodness has returned to the world. His laugh almost elicits a smile from me. Almost.

He reaches for my hand, then takes it in his. His hand is strong, solid, the muscles arching as he squeezes my fingers. “I’ve missed you,” he says, and it’s so sudden and completely unexpected that I’m not sure what to say back.

“I’m right here,” I joke.

“That’s not what I mean.” His eyes connect with mine, and his gaze is so intense I have to look away. “Sienna, I need to know.”

“Need to know what?”

“Is there any hope for me? For us?”

I draw in a sharp breath. I thought I spelled it out pretty well in my bedroom that night in his house before the assassin tried to kill him. Apparently not. I try to say the next words as gently as I can. “I’m with Trey now. I love Trey.”

Pain fills his eyes as his hand slips from mine. “I understand.”

“Zane, I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be. It’s not what I wanted to hear. But it’s what I needed to hear.”

I reach for his hand again, and reluctantly, he gives it to me. Bringing it up to my lips, I kiss the soft spot between his knuckles. “There’s a girl out there for you. One who will love you and appreciate you for the incredible person you are.”

When Zane stares at me, his eyes full of longing, it tears holes in my heart. “I know,” he says. “I just hoped it would be you.”


Author Bio:

Kristin Smith is the best-selling and award-winning author of the DECEPTION GAME series. Her first book, CATALYST, is a 2018 IAN Book of the Year Award finalist in the Young Adult category.

A graduate of Brigham Young University, Kristin currently resides in North Carolina with her husband and five sons. To read more about Kristin or her books, please visit her website at kristinsmithbooks.com.

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