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Giveaway – Good Elf Gone Wrong by Alina Jacobs @XpressoTours @AlinaJWrites

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Good Elf Gone Wrong
Alina Jacobs
Publication date: November 14th 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

When you catch your fiancé cheating on you with your sister on Christmas Eve, the elf hat comes off.
I’ve always been the good girl—the anti Scrooge—the one who sacrifices for her guests, bakes cookies for her neighbors, and stays late after a party to clean up.
I don’t mind. I like being on the nice list.

I kept smiling when I caught my fiancé coming down my sister’s chimney on Christmas Eve.
I gave polite congratulations when they got engaged on Christmas morning.
And I even offered to help decorate for their holiday wedding despite the fact that was supposed to be my dream wedding.

But when my sister cuts up our great-grandmother’s one-hundred-year-old wedding dress and turns it into a skank show, even though that was the dress I was going to wear on my wedding day?
Well, this elf is torching down the North Pole.

And what better way to get revenge than giving those cheaters a taste of their own medicine?
This good elf is bringing the bad boy home for Christmas.
Hudson is a six-foot-five, coldhearted, tattooed bad elf with a perpetual sneer and washboard abs.
He’s exactly my sister’s type.
And he’s going to help me nuke her wedding from orbit on the night before Christmas.

What he is not supposed to do is grab my ass in the kitchen while I bake gingerbread.
Or crawl in my bed half naked.
And he’s definitely not supposed to smirk and tell me to commit to our fake relationship right before he goes down on me.

Guess there’s a reason the good elves stay far away from the bad.

Good elves of Christmas unite! We’re ogling the tattooed chests of shirtless bad boys, baking massive amounts of cookies, drinking all the wine, and trying to survive recently divorced grandmothers who have a pathological obsession with our love lives. This standalone holiday romantic comedy has all the Christmas cheer you can fit in your stocking and a happily ever after, guaranteed!

Goodreads / Amazon

—

EXCERPT:

Knitting clutched in my hands, I turned to the bad boy sitting next to me.

“Do … um …” I cleared my throat. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

His finger paused on the page he was turning. He fixed those pale-silver eyes on me, a dusty gray like the winter sky.

“No. Why? Are you offering?”

“Sort of. See, I kind of need to break up my sister and her boyfriend. She’s dating my ex. He’s a jerk. It’s complicated. But I need you to be my boyfriend so I can ruin her wedding. I don’t know if you do that type of work?”

I smiled hopefully.

The book closed with a loud thud.

He looked angry.

“Er, never mind,” I squeaked and held up my knitting. “I’ll get started on those baby socks. Forget I said anything.”

But he didn’t go back to his book.

“So you want a fake boyfriend.”

“Um, yeah. I mean that was the plan. But plans change …”

Those ghostly eyes still locked on mine, he leaned over, his huge body crowding my space.

I scrunched against the window.

“You sure you can handle it?” he asked in a deep, gravelly voice. He smelled like leather and the winter wind.

No. No, I don’t think I can.

I swallowed. The empty Advent calendar was digging into my side.

“Yes,” I squawked.

“Prove it,” he said, his breath cool on my cheek.

He twisted out of his jacket, the ridges of muscle under the tight gray T-shirt flexing and rippling as he shrugged off the garment.

“Give me a hand job.” The baritone voice deepened. “I have my jacket on my lap. No one will know. Just go for it.”

My eyes were about as big and round as Pugnog’s and ready to pop out of my head.

“Unzip my fly,” he breathed against my mouth, “and stroke my cock.”

My stomach was flip-flopping. The air between us was supercharged, and my skin felt tight and prickly.

“I-I can’t,” I stammered.

He huffed out a laugh, smirked, and pulled his jacket back on, the leather creaking.

“Thought so.” He sat back in his seat and opened up his book. “You’re weak. You have an elaborate revenge plan all mapped out, yet you clearly can’t handle having a fake boyfriend.”


Author Bio:

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I’m your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Bookbub


GIVEAWAY!
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  • You can see my Giveaways HERE.
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  • Leave your link in the comments and I will drop by to see what’s shakin’.
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Giveaway – Smart Girls Don’t Kiss Aliens by Alina Jacobs @XpressoTours @AlinaJWrites

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Smart Girls Don’t Kiss Aliens!
Alina Jacobs
Publication date: May 31st 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Paranormal, Romance

Crash-land on an alien barbarian planet and told there’s no way home?

LMAO! I’m a rocket scientist. Miss me with that noise.

Anyone else might have a nervous breakdown, but I was abducted with my besties. Among us, we have fifteen PhDs.

We will be getting off this planet. Trust.

No, I will not be finding an eternal bonded mate among the seven-foot-tall alien males.

No, I will not be wearing a furkini and walking around barefoot.

And no, I will not be moving into a cave with no internet or running water and accepting my fate like the rest of the freed human women on this craft-cocktail-forsaken planet.

Two liquid hydrogen rockets and a smidge of deep-space travel later, and we’re back home on Earth.

Except that our spaceship had stowaways.

Now there’s a seven-foot-tall alien named Cassius in my Los Angeles condo. He’s explaining calmly that according to the ancestors, we are supposed to be eternally mated, he’s bonded to me, and we’re going to have a litter of children. Also, he’s wearing a loincloth. And he has horns.

Wipe that smirk off your face. No, it is not as sexy as it sounds.

He barked at my cat. He harassed my busybody Karen neighbor (actually, I’m okay with that one). He’s obsessed with the ice maker on my fridge.

What’s a smart girl to do?

The smart thing is to build a rocket ship and send Cassius and his other hot alien friends back to their home planet.

The not-smart thing to do is fall into those deep blue-gray eyes and let him show me just how good that forked tongue feels.

And the downright stupid thing to do is fall in love with an alien.

This is a stand-alone, full-length, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy, complete with bad space puns, hot guys with horns, and enough steam to cause a supernova. Happily ever after guaranteed!

Goodreads / Amazon

—

EXCERPT:

“Um, okay, so none of this”—I pointed at the guy with horns, the angry pregnant woman in front of me, and the barbarian alien landscape—“is going to work for me.”

“The alien slave ship carrying you and your friends crash-landed on this planet. You have to stay here forever and ever; there’s no way home,” the pregnant woman insisted as she rubbed her belly. “You’re going to bond with a mate and have babies to help repopulate the tribe. Our clan is in desperate need of women.”

The large half-naked horned alien smiled and waved awkwardly to me.

“I’m not repopulating anything,” Erin said loudly. “My people didn’t overcome centuries of oppression so that I can waste my three PhDs on a planet that doesn’t even have indoor plumbing, let alone anything as civilized as a mall. I can’t be trapped on this planet. I have a manicure on Monday. She does Ariana Grande’s nails, and there is a wait list. I’m going to lose my spot.”

“It’s already lost. You all have been in the stasis pods for the last two years,” the pregnant woman said triumphantly.

I tried to focus on how obnoxious the constant belly touching was so I didn’t completely lose it. Two years. Two freaking years?

Mel started sobbing, and I hugged her.

“Poor Bert,” she cried against my shoulder.

“I’m sure someone adopted him,” I consoled her.

“Is that your child?” the pregnant woman asked, mouth softening.

“Bert’s her corgi,” Ellen explained. “She’s a dog mom.”

The pregnant woman rolled her eyes like a twelve-year-old. “Ugh.”

“Hey!” I put my fists on my hips. “We all have jobs and lives, you know. We work for an aerospace engineering company. The US military and NASA rely on us. My cat may or may not miss me, but my plants are for sure all dead.”

“Your plants are dead because you are a horrible plant mom and forget to water them, not because you were abducted by aliens,” Angie hissed at me.

“I have six Birkin bags that need me,” Erin said defiantly.

“Well, you can’t get off this planet,” the pregnant woman snapped. “You will find a male here and fall in love. You will forget your lives as working girls and embrace your place as women of this tribe. You will learn to be happy here just like I am. I fell in love with the chief and now am blessed to be carrying his seed.”

I shuddered.

The chieftain’s mate glared at me. “You will garden, have babies, and cook over an open fire.”

“Kimmie almost burnt her condo down by boiling an egg,” Angie said. “She shouldn’t be cooking anything.”

Author Bio:

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I’m your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!
http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Bookbub


GIVEAWAY!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

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  • You can see my Giveaways HERE.
  • You can see my Reviews HERE.
  • If you like what you see, why don’t you follow me?
  • Look on the right sidebar and let’ talk.
  • Leave your link in the comments and I will drop by to see what’s shakin’.
  • I am an Amazon affiliate/product images are linked.
  • Thanks for visiting fundinmental!

Giveaway – Tasting Her Christmas Cookies by Alina Jacobs @AlinaJWrites @XpressoTours

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Tasting Her Christmas Cookies
Alina Jacobs
Publication date: November 19th 2019
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Romance

Winter is coming—and unfortunately it’s bringing Christmas with it.

I loathe the holiday. I hate holiday parties, fragrant decorations, and hokey movies. If I had my way it would be winter all year round and never Christmas.

Nothing burns like the cold—except a hot oven.

That’s right; against my better judgment I agreed to let The Great Christmas Bake-Off film in my tower.

And St. Nick help me but I even agreed to be a judge.

Holly

Christmas is like the perfect sugar cookie—it slowly melts in your mouth, sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.

I love Christmas. I love the cheerful music, the fun sweaters, and the holiday lights. Most of all I love Christmas Cookies.

A begrudging bake-off judge, I refuse to let grouchy billionaire Owen Frost hate Christmas. The man is overworked, his employees are uninspired, and his life is seriously lacking in Yuletide cheer. I want to stuff his stocking with sugary goodness to put him in a very festive mood.

So I dressed up as a sexy elf and gave Owen a taste of something extra special. You should have seen his eyes roll back in his head when he bit into the perfect sugar cookie!

I can’t let Owen Frost be a distraction. Things are insane enough without a sexy billionaire.

My baking subscription service is in the death throes.

My Christmas-ruining step sister is trying to sabotage me in the bake-off.

I’m being stalked by elves on the shelf come to life.

Ok that last one is a little weird, but welcome to my disaster of a life.

I need to win The Great Christmas Bake-Off to pay of my debts and launch my baking career. Sleeping with one of the judges is going to ruin my chance for a merry Christmas. Owen with his washboard abs and big Christmas package is a bad idea. It’s best to keep that all wrapped under the tree.

But when he said in that deep, sexy voice, “Can I have another taste of your Christmas cookies?” Well, let’s just say I’m unwrapping one particular Christmas present early!

Tasting Her Christmas Cookies is a standalone holiday romantic comedy. If you love Christmas desserts, like to laugh out loud at holiday innuendoes, and want Santa to put a tall, good-looking guy under your tree, then pick up this full-length, steamy romance novel! There are no cliffhangers but there is a very happy (Christmas!) ever after!

Goodreads / Amazon

—

EXCERPT:

“We are having a Christmas bath scene in the near future,” I said to the camera, “with holiday bath bombs and themed cocktails. But unfortunately, it won’t be tonight. The bake-off starts tomorrow, baking fans!”

I looked longingly at the bathtub. Then, making sure the phone was definitely not recording, because I did not need to be that kind of Instagrammer, I took a quick shower. I seriously could not get over how huge the bathroom was. I could live in it. With a toaster and a mini fridge, I would totally be good.

After wrapping myself in the robe, I tied a T-shirt around my hair. I had frizzy hair on a good day; keeping my curls manageable was a perpetual struggle. I applied a gingerbread-cookie-scented moisturizer while my videos uploaded. Because I was busy scrolling through my phone and answering comments as I came out of the bathroom, I didn’t notice the half-naked man until he swore.

I looked up and screamed.

“Help! Help! Stalker!” I shrieked and ineffectively pointed at the stranger. Between the rippling muscles, the washboard abs, and an ass I could bounce a quarter on, I hoped he wasn’t actually here to hurt me, because he could do some damage. Pointing and shrieking wasn’t going to stop him. Fortunately, he looked more shocked and horrified than angry and violent.

“Stop screaming!” he bellowed. A freezing breeze blew into the room. It was as if the man had brought the rage of winter into the master suite with him. He looked like it, too, with his ice-blue eyes and silver-white hair. “This is my penthouse. You are not authorized to be here. That makes you the stalker!”

I stopped screaming. It clearly wasn’t helping anything. I also couldn’t help but notice that the bathroom wasn’t the only thing that was huge in the room. With him wearing nothing but boxer briefs, I could tell Santa had brought the handsome man a very large Christmas package indeed. The breeze blew in from the balcony, swirling the strange man’s clean and masculine scent around the room. I forced myself to ignore it.

“Get out of my house,” Big Christmas Package said flatly.

“You get out!” I shrieked. “I’m a bake-off contestant. This isn’t your room!”

“What the—” he grabbed his clothes, tugging on his pants. “The Great Christmas Bake-Off? I cannot have Christmas invading every element of my life. This is ridiculous. Christmas is ridiculous. It’s such a stupid, childish holiday.” He punctuated his words by snatching up articles of clothing.

“Hey now!” I said, hands on my hips, fear subsiding. “Christmas is never ridiculous. It’s the best holiday ever. And if you can’t see that, well then, you’re just a grinch, aren’t you?”

He advanced on me. I was suddenly very aware of how large he was. Christmas package notwithstanding, this dude was tall, broad shouldered, with rippling muscles. He could probably split me in two.

Yes, please.

“You’re some stupid little baker who never outgrew the childish fantasy of Christmas,” he sneered.

My nose was inches away from his chest. He glowered down at me. I was too angry to be aware of his half-naked body. Okay, maybe I was like fifteen percent aware. But the majority of my energy was focused on being offended on behalf of Christmas.

“Don’t insult baking,” I said, giving him my best “I want to speak to the manager vibe,” though it was ruined by the fact that I had to crane my neck up to see him and that I was completely naked under the robe. “And never insult Christmas!”

His nostrils flared slightly.

“Men like you constantly belittle the work that women do to keep cultural traditions like Christmas alive,” I continued, poking him in the chest.

“We decorate homes to make them cozy.”

Poke.

“We cook holiday dinners and bake festive desserts.”

Poke.

“We host parties that bring families and friends together.”

Before I could poke him again, he grabbed my hand in his much-larger one. Then, realizing what he’d done, he quickly released it.

“I will not stand for your bad attitude!” I declared.

He glared down at me, strong jaw clenched, eyes cold as a frozen lake. “I can’t even believe this,” he finally snarled. He grabbed his briefcase and stormed out, still shirtless.

“Oh my God!” Fiona exclaimed, wide-eyed, as she ran into the room. She hugged me then pushed me to sit on the bed. “Are you okay? Who was that? Why was he in here? Someone call the police!”

“I knew it! You’re trying to steal my boyfriend,” Amber yelled at me, rushing into the room. “That’s Owen Frost, and he’s mine!”


Author Bio:

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I’m your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!
http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Bookbub / Instagram


GIVEAWAY!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

XBTBanner1

  • You can see my Giveaways HERE.
  • You can see my Reviews HERE.
  • If you like what you see, why don’t you follow me?
  • Look on the right sidebar and let’ talk.
  • Leave your link in the comments and I will drop by to see what’s shakin’.
  • I am an Amazon affiliate/product images are linked.
  • Thanks for visiting fundinmental!