The Spotlight Is On The Epsilon Account by Joni Parker @PumpUpYourBook

 

In a thrilling mystery of intrigue, the Elfin Keeper of the Keys, Alex, uncovers a sinister plot to steal the gold set aside for the Golden Harvest by a rival group of Elves, who will stop at nothing to get it.

Title: The Epsilon Account: The Golden Harvest Series Book 1
Author: Joni Parker
Publisher: Independent
Pages: 388
Genre: Fantasy/Science Fiction Hybrid

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Thousands of years ago, Eledon was created for the Elves by their Mentors when they were forced to leave Earth. At least, that’s how the legend goes. In return, the Elves must pay them a tribute in gold, known as the Golden Harvest, every four thousand years. The Elfin Council of Elders appoints Lady Alexin (Alex) Dumwalt, the Keeper of the Keys, to manage the next payment, due 244 years from now. That is, until the Mentors show up unexpectedly and demand immediate payment of the Epsilon Account. Since the Harvest has never been called that, Alex suspects foul play and uncovers a sinister plot by the Star Elves, a rival clan from the Constellations, who want to steal the gold. To make matters worse, they’re willing to do anything to succeed to include murder. Can Alex stop them and save the Elfin gold before it’s too late?

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Book Excerpt  


It worked! The emergency contact system I had set up with the help of my Elf grandfather really worked. With this system, I could leave the magical Keys of Eledon with my grandfather, just in case something disastrous happened, like a flood or a quake. My grandfather had been the Keeper of the Keys before me, so he could fill in as needed, but if there was something he couldn’t handle, he’d sent Lord Hillen for me. 

Lord Hillen had been in London recently to investigate the presence of Elf slaves in the mortal world and had posed as my Uncle James. If he needed to contact me, his lordship would use the portal and call me on a pay phone on the street corner outside of Hyde Park. We rehearsed it several times to make sure it worked. Unfortunately, when he called for real, I was the middle of a fashion show in Paris. 

A few months ago, I signed a five-year contract to work as a fashion model for the Echelon Modeling Agency owned and operated by Andrew Miller. The next day, my exile to the mortal world ended, and I was allowed to return to Eledon. But since I had signed a contract, I felt obligated to finish it, so I asked for and received permission from the Elfin Council of Elders to do so. Five years meant nothing to the Elves. 

My mobile phone rang when I returned backstage to change into my next outfit. I should have let it go to voicemail, but the caller ID said it was Mrs. MacDougall, the dog walker from Hyde Park in London. Why would she be calling me? Then I recalled how much Lord Hillen had liked the woman, so I answered it. 

“Mrs. MacDougall? This is Alex. You’re on speaker.” I needed my hands free to touch up my makeup.

“Oh, Alex. How wonderful! I just wanted to let you know your Uncle James is here, and he asked me to call you.”

“What ‘s wrong?” 

“Alex? Alex, are you there?” Uncle James/Lord Hillen shouted loud enough to be heard over the music. Everyone shushed me.

“Sorry.” I turned off the speaker and put the phone to my ear. “Yes, Uncle James. I’m here. You don’t have to shout. Is everything all right?” I was concerned about my grandparents. They weren’t old by Elf standards; they were considered middle-aged even though my grandfather was thirty-five hundred years old, and my grandmother was about fifteen hundred years old, give or take a thousand years.

“Lord Ashur must speak to you immediately,” he said. “It’s about the Epsilon Account.”

I paused. “What Epsilon Account?” I’d never heard of it although I knew it was the fifth letter in the ancient Greek alphabet. But the Elves had never used Greek letters for anything. Still, I was relieved to hear it wasn’t about my grandparents. 

“We don’t know what it is,” he said.

“Okay, so why is this an emergency?”

“Because Lord Ashur said so.” 

“Oh.” Lord Ashur was the Elfin leader of the Council of Elders, and I should drop whatever I was doing and rush home, but I couldn’t right now. “I can meet you in Hyde Park by eleven tonight.” I had memorized the Eurostar train schedule from Paris, so I knew what time it got to London. Once I got there, I would have to transfer to a local train for Hyde Park. “Can you wait with Mrs. MacDougall?”

“Oh… my pleasure,” he said, as he ended the call. 

I knew he liked her, so I was sure he’d be happy to spend more time with her. I rushed off to make my next entrance and slipped the phone in my pocket without thinking. As I strutted down the runway, my mobile went off again. It was making too much noise to ignore, so I took it out to turn it off. It was Mrs. MacDougall again, so I swiped it and answered it as if it was part of the show. Uncle James/Lord Hillen came on the line, saying he forgot to tell me my grandparents were fine. 

“Thank you so much,” I said, as I hung up. But instead of putting it away, I continued talking as if I was in the middle of a business deal. “But you don’t understand. I want two million, not one.” I rolled my eyes at the audience. “No deal!” I touched the screen, shook my head, and waved my mobile in the air.

The audience laughed, and cameras flashed all over the place. So, I turned my back to the audience and took a selfie. The show’s narrator, Philippe, grimaced at me and waved me off the stage. I strolled by him and waved my mobile to thunderous applause.

It was never my intent to become a fashion model, but after I was exiled here, I needed to earn a living. Modeling didn’t require a special skill except to walk in high heels. At the time, I was staying with Vice Admiral Sir Malcolm Teller and his wife in London because I had no place else to live. Their daughter, Suzette, was a fashion designer and asked me to be her model because hers had quit unexpectedly. I did fine in my first show, but my heart wasn’t in it. I’d been trained as a soldier, so I applied to join the Royal Marines. When they rejected my application, I went back to work as a model. 

After several more dress changes, I ended the show wearing a spectacular wedding dress. My boss, Étienne, had specialized in them at one time in his career, and this dress was exceptional. It was made of embossed white silk with kimono-type sleeves, with a definite Japanese flair, but with an off-the-shoulder look. The train was at least twenty feet long, and the veil was to die for. I’d get married in that dress except I didn’t want to get married. Maybe one day. After all, that’s what fantasies are made of.

When the show ended, Philippe, the narrator, stormed backstage and chewed me out for taking a phone on the runway and violating the model’s code of silence. It wasn’t the first time he did this. The man hated me from the moment we met. He spoke so rapidly in French I couldn’t understand what he said except for those few words that crossed over to English, like ‘idiot’ and ‘mobile phone.’ I didn’t know why the French language was a such problem for me. I was fluent in four other languages—English, Scinthian (ancient Greek), Dwarf (Droogan), and Elf. Maybe it was a self-defense mechanism, so I wouldn’t understand all the nasty things Philippe said to me. 

His tirade lasted for ten minutes. By the time he was done, everyone else had left, and we were the only ones backstage. He stalked away and left me to find my way to the mandatory after-show party at our boss’s house.



 
About the Author

Joni Parker was born in Chicago, Illinois, but moved to Japan when she was 8 so her father could become a professional golfer. Once he achieved his dream, Joni and her family returned to the U.S. and moved to Phoenix, Arizona. After high school, Joni served her country for 22 years in the Navy and another 7 years in federal civil service. She retired in Tucson, Arizona, devoting her time to writing, reading, and watching the sunrise.

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Books From The Backlog – Coexist by Julia Crane @juliacrane2 #booksfromthebacklog

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Books from the Backlog is a fun way to feature some of those neglected books sitting on your bookshelf unread.  If you are anything like me, you might be surprised by some of the unread books hiding in your stacks.

If you would like to join in, swing by Carole’s Random Life in Books.

Coexist (Keegan's Chronicles #1)

Amazon / Goodreads

GOODREADS BLURB

Sixteen-year-old Keegan is struggling to keep her huge secret from her friends—she’s an elf, descended from a long line of elves that live in secrecy alongside humans.  
 
In elfin society, mates are predetermined but not allowed to meet until they are eighteen.  Against tradition, Keegan’s brother Thaddeus told her Rourk’s name because his visions warned him she’d need Rourk’s protection, especially since Keegan will play a key role in the coming war between the dark and light elves.
 
Rourk finds himself drawn to Keegan’s side every time she thinks his name. He wants to talk to her but remains in the shadows, silently guarding her every time she mentally beckons him. A twist of fate thrusts the two of them together when Rourk is forced to step up his protection and make his presence known.
 
An ancient prophecy deeply entwines Keegan’s family and the future of their society. Somehow they must find a way to thwart fate and win the battle…without losing Keegan. With war brewing, and dark forces aligning, will Keegan and Rourk ever have the life together that they both desire?

Goodreads Ratings: 3.61  ·  4,185 ratings  ·  416 reviews

I added Coexist by Julia Crane to my TBR on 11.9.12. I read a lot of young adult novels and love getting lost in a fantasy world. Cant ask for much more than a prophecy, fate, battles…and I think a little romance may be in the works.

  • You can see my Giveaways HERE.
  • You can see my Reviews HERE.
  • If you like what you see, why don’t you follow me?
  • Look on the right sidebar and let’ talk.
  • Leave your link in the comments and I will drop by to see what’s shakin’.
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Wishing You A Happy Holiday From Sunny Florida

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Wishing you a happy holiday from the Fundins…

Where thousands live, like millions wish they could.

We took our annual New Orleans Christmas trip.

And played our annual Christmas Golf Open round.

We made a quick trip ‘out of this world’. Click here to see it.

Have a safe and happy holiday.

Tony had me rolling on the floor, laughing out loud, when I wasn’t ticked off at Jack.

Claus: Legend of the Fat Man by Tony BertauskiClaus: Legend of the Fat Man

At the North Pole, Nicholas couldn’t believe the Inuits had left them, taking all their gear and food. He left Jessica and Jon in the tent and went to investigate their disappearance. He had tied a rope around himself so he could find his way back. When it wrapped around his feet and tripped him, he realized it had been cut. He turned to walk back and fell through the ice.

Back at the tent, Jessica reeled in the empty line. When she stuck her head out of the tent to see if she could catch a glimpse of Nicholas, she was grabbed and thrown in the air. When she awoke, she found Jon with her in a warm room surrounded by ice. Where did the light come from?

She called out, “Hello” , and people-like creatures appeared. One of them, Merry, introduced herself and Nog. She said they needed to leave, now. Nog packed up the room and put it in a bag he had pulled from his pocket. What? How did he do that? How did the whole room end up in his bag.

Jon thought it was magic. Nog told him it was science. He said they were elven and had been around for more than 40,000 years. There was no time to explain right now. They had to relocate. The Fracture, war, had separated the elves, and the colony has to move every two weeks.

How would they travel? Why, reindeer and sleigh. Was there a reindeer with a red nose? What do you think?

santa & sled, sleigh, reindeer Pictures, Images and Photos

Jack was the only elven with no sense of humor. When he was really upset, two words always calmed him, Silent Night, and he would repeat them over and over.

Pawn approached Jack to tell him they had found an injured warmblood. He had been caught in their trap, but the other two got away with the rebels help. He had been put in Claus‘ lab, because he had been injured and Claus was the only one who could heal him. Pawn told Jack the warmblood’s name was Santa.

Jack and Claus were twin brothers. Jack wanted to kill all the warmbloods and return the world to the Ice Age. He had been waiting to capture a warmblood and now he had one. He had held Claus prisoner, even though he was treated well, because he would need his help to turn the warmblood into a weapon.

Merry had a special relationship with the reindeer. She could hear them. When everyone found out, they all began ignoring her. No one would  play games with her and they called her names. What a great twist on Rudolph’s story.

As she was calling out their names for Jon,  he shouted out  the last one, Blitzen. How did he know? He didn’t have an answer for her.

Claus tried to explain to Nicholas, that he could be their salvation or their destruction. He could bring distinction to the human race.

Of course Frosty the Snowman is there, but what part he plays, you will have to read to find out.

Bugs Bunny Sleigh Taz Tasmanian Devil Daffy Duck Slyvester Tweety Pie Roadrunner Merry Christmas Emoticon Emoticons Animated Animation Animations Gif Pictures, Images and Photos

5 STARS – Would Buy It For Them (lol)

There are two different covers for this book and I loved them both, so I used one at the beginning and another at the end of this post. The title speaks for itself. LOL

An amazing and awe-inspiring novel of how Santa came to be. I was stunned at Tony Bertauski’s descriptions of the characters, critters and their environment. It was nothing less than amazing. His descriptions of the environment, technology and science fiction involved in the writing of this novel had me……I can’t even think of the words to describe how impressed I was. As you can see, I am now repeating myself, so read the book and you will see what I mean.

His creativity with mixing so many genres – the environment, technology, science fiction, magic, fantasy, Christmas, etc. – was superb.

The book has an unexpected ending, but no peeking.

I can see this as a television Christmas special. I think it would be a classic.

I have read one other book of his, The Annihilation of Foreverland and was equally impressed with that novel. This is an author you want to place on your must read list.

I got the book for free, and whether Tony expected a review or not, here it is. LOL. I loved everything about this book and would have reviewed it no matter what.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tony BertauskiMy grandpa never graduated high school. He retired from a steel mill in the mid-70s. He was uneducated, but he was a voracious reader. I remember going through his bookshelves of paperback sci-fi novels, smelling musty old paper, pulling Piers Anthony and Isaac Asimov off shelf and promising to bring them back. I was fascinated by robots that could think and act like people. What happened when they died?

I’ve written textbooks on landscape design, but that was straightforward, informational writing; the kind of stuff that helps most people get to sleep. I’ve also been writing a gardening column with a humorous slant. That takes a little more finesse, but still informational for the most part.

I’m a cynical reader. I demand the writer sweep me into his/her story and carry me to the end. I’d rather sail a boat than climb a mountain. That’s the sort of stuff I wanted to write, not the assigned reading we used to get in high school. I wanted to create stories that kept you up late.

Fiction, GOOD fiction, is hard to write. Having a story unfold inside your head is an experience different than reading. You connect with characters in a deeper, more meaningful way. You feel them, empathize with them, cheer for them and even mourn. The challenge is to get the reader to experience the same thing, even if it’s only a fraction of what the writer feels. Not so easy.

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taiwan flag smiley animated gif Pictures, Images and Photos  Giveaway – Tony Bertauski is offering up 2 ebooks for the giveaway. It is International and easy to enter, as always. Just answer the question:

Everyone roots for the good guy, the protagonist, the guy/girl that saves the word and never tells a lie. But there’s something to be said for a great villain. I’ve always found the most compelling bad guy is the really nasty one that has some redeeming quality — tiny as it may be — that makes me not hate him/her nearly as much as I should. Everything I write features an antagonist that, by the end, leaves the reader scratching his/her head.

Given this criteria, who is a REALLY good antagonist? And why?

 Ends November 20, 2012.

GIVEAWAY HAS ENDED.

WINNERS!!!!! are:  Alana and Denise Z

Thanks to all of you for the wonderful comments. I hope you will continue to follow fundinmental.

To get your copy of a Tony Bertauski novel, click on the cover below.

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To see all my Reviews, go HERE.
To see all my Giveaways, go HERE.
If you like what you see, why don’t you follow me?

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